I have been poorly today. It's been sneaking up on me for a while and today it got me. When I am poorly I am clumsy. I was putting down the blind to go to bed and accidentally knocked Dnendna off the window sill where he'd been sunning himself. I didn't even think about it because he doesn't usually live their. Here is a photo of his little body lying atop the little mound of sand and soil that used to be his home:
I've re-potted him and put him back where he belongs on the kitchen table with a little water. Incidentally, the missing leaves are due, I think, to it being winter; he's lost all but one in the last couple of weeks. We'll just have to wait and see now if he can make it through the winter!
I saw Jason Anderson performing in Nottingham, probably in 2006 but I can't remember, anyway, it was the most inspiring concert ever and the epitome of good art. Jason Anderson's words and delivery and reasons for singing what he sings were pivotal in my understanding of why I make what I make and why it's worth it. Here's a video of one of his songs, the Hospital:
Here's a quick botanical update before I head off on holiday for a week and a half. To Wensleydale, and then to Greenbelt. I've been meaning to go to Greenbelt since I was 16, 12 years on I finally have a ticket... YESSS!
Anyway, here's an enormous, flowery Coleus:
And here is an ever-more-impressive looking Dnendna (the Pachypodium Densiflorum that I planted at the same time as the Coleus):
I don't know what the guy in the background is, I grew it from a cutting stolen from a dying plant at work a few weeks ago... Any ideas?
She's got some writing about it there, but this is what it made me think:
"Heather's box performance asks us to examine where one person ends and another begins. For those in the know, the performers' relationship brings this question into the romantic realm of intimacy. But it speaks to a much wider audience. The initial questions of "whose finger" start us on a course of inquiry that encompasses not only the spatial existence of two people and thus the physical boundaries of which we are so aware, but the metaphysical also; boundaries formed by emotion, personality, convention, expectations, all come under scrutiny. The question of who I am divided from or choosing to be-at-odds with or to cooperate with, and in what way? Pertains not only to my existence in space and time with one other, but the existence of all of us simultaneously in one world. To maintain the illusion of an impossible single entity in the box, the performers' movements need to be steady and coordinated, flowing round each other like a dance. We are in this together, we cannot afford to be-at-odds with each other."
I wrote this in my notebook on the day of the performance. Thinking about this today in the light of social justice and anti-capitalism issues (I recently watched the first Yes Men film) I wonder: Are we all in the same box?
I've also been reading Undergoing God by James Alison and he has a lot to say about the need to not view yourself as worthy or good or valuable or powerful over-against an "evil" other who is none of these things according to your system of goodness. I won't go into that now, you'll have to read it yourself. Anyway, what it got me thinking about, and this relates to the box, was the way we relate to each other everyday. For instance, I'm waiting to get on a tube, and I'm in the front of the cluster by the door and as I wait to let passengers off the train some guy barges past me and takes the last seat - I'm annoyed, but only because his selfishness has trumped my own. A similar annoyance overtook me in a local independent supermarket the other day when a lady barged past me and again when I got stuck behind a pushchair clogging the narrow aisles (this supermarket is not for wheel chair users). The problem was, of course, not really that these people hindered my ability to go about my business, but that my attitude to them was of resentment because I felt they had hindered my going about my business. The truth is, we were all going about the same business together, and here I must return to the dance analogy above, as I realised that this is not just about running errands and traveling home on the underground, it's about far larger social structures and boundaries between people that cause friction because we refuse to compromise or cooperate, seeking first our own way - but I wonder if we shouldn't be aiming at one single, graceful, flowing world wide... dance... eurgh my god that's a horrible thing to write. It could look like corporations co-operating with manufacturers for the benefit of humanity, rather than corporations exploiting manufacturers for the good of their own bank accounts. Something like that. Anyway, I think we probably are all in the same box, in a way, and humanity will struggle to advance if we remain in our current state of being-at-odds with each other and refusing to cooperate. I for one would like to be less greedy and selfish, and easier going in situations of everyday friction. So that's that.
Here's a new video, for an old song, using old footage that was meant to be for this video but never got made until now, and I think it might be bad, but it might make up for the previous rant:
I have to go to work today, I got up at 5:45 to make sure I get there on time. Now I have a few minutes to kill before I go - just enough time to post a picture of Dnendna, my pachypodium seedling; he's doing really well, look:
I thought I'd post some photo's of the "stock" I have to shift at the compARTment artist and makers market in Brighton tomorrow, although it's pretty much the eleventh hour now... anyway, my friend Becca is organising a 'zine stall, she beat me at posting a stock photo too. Anyway, here's the inventory: I am not Obsessive: Please Print Clearly, Things I Did or Didn't Do, and Diagram Poems: [no title] and an untitled diagram love poem with leaves: altogether that ammounts to...: ...a lot of books. All hand made using my kick ass craft skills yeah.
Oh and also I will be singing some songs at some point during the day (the Death of Me myspace)
Some of these books are also available to purchase from theLost&Found shop at folksy.com!
I put a Coleus out on the windowsill as I have a lot of them and they're taking up too much table space. Unfortunately though, we have a pigeon problem, and the little twats pecked at the plant's leaves:So I've had to bring it inside for now, we'll see how it gets on.
Incidentally the polythene bags tot he left are the pre-natal home of my Aloe Polyphyllas, they've been sitting around for over a week now without sprouting, but apparently they're mysterious and you're supposed to never give up on them so...
So, that's it, shows over and I remove my work from the gallery this weekend, but I realise I've not posted any photos of it on-line yet! Here's the prliminaries, there will be more on my web-site shortly...
The exhibition handout (co-written with Heather Jones) had this to say:
In Not Holding the String, Matthew James Kay collects together a number of new objects for thought; sculptures, drawings and animations inspired by mistake-making, grace, doubt and faith in everyday life, which work together to talk about fear, expectations, uncertainty and hope.
The works on show all appear to be on a collective downer. A little gold tree full of dead bees (Here we Come!) is a monument to finality, standing unmonumentally on a fruit crate – “it happens” say the arrived. The newest piece in the show is an animation of what looks like a man on a tight rope. Balancing for eternity, not moving forward but not falling off, Frighteningly Close to Your Open Arms speaks of hope unaccepted. Drawn from the perspective of looking down at one’s own feet it could say something along the lines of “walk, you are closer than you think.”
In Stand Still a Moment the protagonists stand face to face, or front to back, one shining her light into the other’s ‘head’ to reveal what appears to be a map of labyrinthine tunnels. Similar maps, numbered variations of Negotiating the Tangle, are hung on the walls standing in as cryptic keys to understanding the work. Inspired by the experience of being lost in an underground station, these drawings depict the external appearance of stations as imagined from inside. This can be a metaphor for the whole of life, the process of negotiating the tangle – there’s never any real enlightenment, just doubt-hampered hunches and faith.
The artworks in Not Holding the String stand as markers in the artist’s ongoing exploration of the domestic adventure as a place of frustration. They inhabit a transient place where personal and circumstantial transformations occur in wrestling with the desire for real adventure, balancing our need for contentment and joy with the reality of dissatisfaction and doubt.
That said, my favourite part of the exhibition is in fact... my home-made cable clips:
Dnendna is soldiering on impressively and now has two new leaves, I'm excited to see what he's gonna do next. Sadly his siblings all got destroyed by mold, but this week was time to take the Aloe Polyphylla outa the fridge so he may still get some companions yet. The pot behind has an Aloe seed in it. And behind that is one of my self-portraits-as-a-lion. I've been painting them for years, but recently took a hiatus cuz things got too busy. I'll be picking the project up again soon though so watch this space, [or this one]. Anyway, here, look at Dnendna and friends: Also, check out my super-cool, Marigolds. My friend Becca gave them to me when they were only wee: Talking of soldiering on, check this out:
The other week I was in Brighton setting up my exhibition and I saw the following headline out on the street:
Wow! I thought, of all the places for an epidemic of World Cup Craziness to break out, I would not have predicted Sussex. I documented the craziness around us:
Oh look, there's Heather: Ah man, check out the craziness, the Argus was right! I am sooo glad to be out of Sussex for the rest of the tournament, I don't think I could have hacked all that mayhem... Unfortunately I live in Wimbledon - shit!
I chatted to the Club Fabulouspromoter during sound check last night, asked about the event did it get much of a crowd... etc? He said that if the bands all brought plenty of people it got pretty full but if they only brought one or two it was pretty empty. I was immediately suspicious; he said he'd been running the night in Camden Rock since last November (2009) so it seemed strange that he didn't yet have a regular audience.
Well, the first four bands played and their friends generally left about one drink after each band finished, but the bands themselves all stuck around, which we were pleased about. Until we got onstage to plug our instruments in. They then busied themselves clearing their gear off the stage for us and promptly left. Four bands at once! Which left Marc and I onstage in front of our girlfriends, pat and his girlfriend, the sound guy, the bar man and three men who were having a conversation at the bar but not paying any attention. So much for the 25 EPs I brought along to give out, nevermind, we still have them for next time...
Anyway, realising that we weren't going to get paid for this one or re-booked whatever happened (we had to bring 15 people with us for those privileges - which is like trying to succeed at Farm Town without pissing off your friends), we decided to have some fun. Our banter was resolutely sarcastic, particularly when I found myself promoting our myspace page to room full of already "friends". Marc did actions to Evangelical Boy, made lion noises in I Can't Save You From Robots, and sang back-up in All The Same Mistakes. It was pointless but great fun - particularly when a crowd of teenagers walked in half way through our last song, we played a couple of extras, especially for them and they danced.
This is the closer - Cedars of Lebanon:
The lessons learned:
never play last, particularly at a mid-week gig, and especially if it's not followed by a club-night to retain punters
never play gigs for promoters that don't do any promotion
research the reputation of a night and promoter before agreeing to play
network with the other bands, even if you didn't like what they played, they're more likely to stick around if you show you're interested in them as musicians and can say something enthusiastic about their songs
And here's some photos of the whole debacle, taken by Heather Jones but cropped and adjusted by me because, as you can see, we were mostly unlit - notice the patch of bright light at the back of the stage pointing to where the drummer's left knee would be; very important to light the drummer's knees well!
So, we're playing a gig in Camden tonight, at "Camden Rock". Should be good, it's the first outing for the new line-up of matthew james kay on mouth & guitar and Marc B (threadbear/TMTWNBBFN) on bass & 2nd mouth:
Come down and drink, dance, sing-along, get off with strangers, pick up a free the Death of Me EP, whatever... you know!?
I spent the last week or so in Brighton setting up my exhibition at a&e Gallery. When I got home I was half expecting Dnendna to have grown into a substantial baby tree, or at least for his brothers to have sprouted... No such luck, although Dnendna does have this little spike thing on top which I think may be new leaves growing:
Exciting huh!
Oh, and the little guy in the back is a well-meaning Coleus. I have a bout ten of them and no idea what I'm gonna do with them all!
On the advice of the guy that sold me my Pachypodium seeds I have removed the seedling from it's polythene bag and am instructed to treat it as a cactus henceforth. As a beginner botanist, I have only a vague notion of what this means: don't water over winter, water in summer but wait until the soil is dry between showers. So that's what I'm doing, it's soil was dry when I took it out, partly due to that fleshy little succulent trunk...:
...so I gave it a little shower. My housemates said I should name it, so now it's called Dnendna. I was reserving that name for my first cat, but, momentous occasion that this was, it felt right to give it to the Pachypodium baby.
In other news, work for my exhibition is almost finished and I am preparing to go and install it next week:
I've been drawing underground stations this week for a new series of works called Negotiating the Tangle the beginnings of which will be on show at a&e, along with sculptures old and new and a couple of animations on nice old tellies. Flat screen is such a commodity!
So, I was supposed to write this a week ago, that way the story was gonna progress gradually and be an exciting, adrenaline filled, botanical adventure. But I didn't and the first significant event in the story has already happened. It's annoying but the excitement over rules that! So here's 2 installments:
1 - Sunday 23rd May 2010
I have planted 11 Pachypodium Densiflorum seeds. I'm apprehensive as the literature states that they must be kept at temperatures exceeding 25ºc in order to germinate. Never-the-less I have planted them in pots of sand (that I nicked from the park over the road) mixed with cactus compost, and sealed them in polythene bags by the kitchen window... like this:The plan is that the polythene bags will create a greenhouse effect and store heat so that they stay hot even when it gets cooler in the kitchen. To help them on their way, I will also provide them with a hot-water bottle on cold evenings because I can't afford a heat mat.
2 - Sunday 30th May 2010
After a week of keeping the kitchen window and door closed as much as possible, warm hot-water bottles and endless checking upon I have one pachypodium seedling:I'm hoping that more will appear this week. And of course, I will keep you, the rest of the world, posted.
e I've been invited to exhibit at a&e Gallery in Brighton next month. So on top of all the other stuff that I don't have time to do, I am making a whole bunch of new work - let's see what happens! come on down if you're free... the press release says this:
At a&e Gallery matthew james kay's sculptures, drawings and animations come together to compose this exhibition inspired by occurrences of mistake-making, grace, doubt and faith in everyday life. Employing the stuff of common experience, the artist documents his experience of being human, a quest for the mysterious lurking in the mundane.
Steering clear of definite meanings and prescriptive individual interpretations, Kay's work invites the viewer into a dialogue with the exhibition as a whole. Kay's assemblages are reconfigured items of the artist's own domestic life, left over paint from decorating, a ripped innertube, the bees that mysteriously appear (dead) in the living room each spring, a shoe rack there just wasn't space for, an ill-kept bonsai, tokens of affection. This ephemera/detritus comes together to create new objects for thought- disused props that take up the role of protagonists in new narratives.
The artworks in Not Holding the String stand as markers in the artist's ongoing exploration of the domestic adventure as a place of frustration and a process of becoming. The works inhabit a transient place where personal and circumstantial transformations occur in wrestling with the desire for real adventure, balancing our need for contentment and joy with the reality of dissatisfaction and doubt.
The exhibition is open to the public 12 - 27 June 2010 Friday to Sunday 1-5pm. The gallery is located at 38 Cheltenham Place, Brighton, BN1 4AB [view map]
All the details are also at matthewjameskay.com with a whole bunch more stuff, you know... alright.
This week I have (liberally speaking) made a whole bunch of stuff: The last thing I made this week was a journey, just from Harlesden to Wimbledon having been to see Love Ends Disaster! in Kilburn last night with Heather and Marc B. and Dr. Pain. The journey was uneventful but LED were good. Earlier this morning though, I made a discovery... I was at a house that Heather is house-sitting - or more accurately cat-sitting in - and found a money plant or Crassula ovata (also known as a jade plant apparently)that had not been watered for a very long time, so dry was the soil that it had shrunk away from the sides of the pot and failed to hold the plant upright anymore. I took it to the kitchen for a good soak and discovered on route that it had started putting out roots from all over the place - it would appear that if the plant is left in dry soil it doesn't just give up and die but uses the energy conserved in its fleshy leaves to seek out water - how cool is that! Look, here's a photo of it: Also... I have spent the last couple of days soldiering on with the music video for Quartershade's Warning Lights single. Here's the sequence I've been working on:
And now I'm feeling dissatisfied with the layout of my bedroom and am planning what adjustments I will make... I'll keep you posted... as if you care!
After a frustrating and discouraging period of nothingness, I suddenly got two opportunities thrown my way at once: 1 To exhibit a sculpture in [Details On Request]'s Launch exhibition and 2 To sing my songs at Laura & Lauren's April Fools Arty Party.
What it all looked like: 1 "Zion is a sculpture, partly made by Matthew James Kay and partly made by the contribution of nature. The cardboard mountain is left to deteriorate and change by the elements as Kay gives up control over the sculpture to the environment and lets the work take its own course." Amber Ablett 2010
I have an MA in making stuff. I make sculptures and animations and books and songs and drawings and mistakes and good food and paintings and stories and a fool of myself... I hope to one day make a baby.
